Design wars

Style At Home associate Art Director Karen Williams and her boyfriend, Eric, rarely disagree. They've been together for seven years and it's a comfortable match, so they're not afraid of moving in together. In fact, they fell in love with some floor plans last year; their first home will be finished around Thanksgiving.

Since the house is being built from scratch, the young couple has had to decide on everything from floor finishes to appliances, not to mention the number of pot lights, style of medicine cabinet and shape of vanity. They navigated those minefields well – for the most part they agreed and where they couldn't, they compromised. But now they're on furniture. No fights have broken out, but suddenly compromise isn't as easy as it was.

According to Toronto designer Lara Neal, this kind of merging can be an emotional, sometimes painful, process, “but that's part of moving in together,” she says. “You open yourself up to someone else critiquing your wares.”

The solution? You'll have to give in on some choices. There could be one item that one of you absolutely has to have and which is horrifying to the other person: a big bulky Lazy-Boy or fancy frilly antique heirloom, for example. You can't completely eliminate your partner's past or their stuff, so don't try. Here are Lara's tips for keeping the design wars at bay:

Take inventory of everything
Each of you needs to review, assess and evaluate all your possessions with an eye to making every room in your new home functional. Edit what you have and be as honest as you can. Often couples have twice the furniture they need, so get rid of pieces that are damaged and not terribly valuable. If his things are in better shape than yours, perhaps you need to get rid of yours.